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[personal profile] sinderella81
Shannon and I did it again!!  More crack!!!

Title: Clark Hates Costumes
Authors:[personal profile] arianstarrand [profile] cinderella81
Pairing: Clark/Lex
Rating: NC-17
Word Count: around 2,735
Summary: Clark only wears a costume for one person, and it's definitely not Chloe.

"Chloe, I am NOT wearing that."

"Why not?"

"Because it's a loincloth!" Clark watched her struggle not to crack a smile. "It's ONLY a loincloth," he clarified. She just quirked an eyebrow at him and didn't say anything. He sighed. "Not happening, Chlo."

"It's not like you don't have the body to pull it off, Clark."

"THAT is your method of persuasion? Chloe! No!"

"Come on, Clark. It's Halloween. For one night, can't you let us ogle the goods?"

He stared at her. "You're insane, and I'm not wearing it."

“I’m not insane. Come on, this is the one night that you're allowed to be crazy and unpredictable.”

“Are you saying that I'm boring and predictable?”

“If the flannel fits,” Chloe said.

"People I know will be there. They'll see me in that thing."

“And they’ll thank me for it later. Now go try it on.”

“No.”

“Lex will be there.”

Clark paused, and Chloe knew she had him right where she wanted him.

“All the more reason to wear clothing, Chloe. We’re not friends anymore. We don’t even like each other.”

"You can love a person and not like them."

"What?" He refused to admit that his voice cracked on the word.

"You heard me. Now go change before I start stripping you right here." Clark started backing away at the wicked gleam in her eye. "On second thought..."

"I'm going, I'm going! You owe me for this, Chloe, you know that, right?"

“I don’t owe you anything farm boy! By the end of the night, you’ll be the one thanking me,” Chloe called to Clark through the door.

After a few minutes, Clark hadn't emerged yet. “Come on Clark, it shouldn't take you that long to get changed. Get your loincloth covered ass out here!” The door opened slowly and Chloe gasped as Clark stepped out.

If the costume was just a touch too small, Chloe had no intention of saying anything about it. She waved her hand at him and he rolled his eyes, reluctantly turning in a circle.

After a few seconds of watching Clark blush, she spoke. "I can't believe I'm going to say this, but go change back into your clothes. I'll see if they have any accessories to go with that."

"You mean like a shirt?" Clark asked hopefully.

Chloe laughed. "No, I was thinking more along the lines of an arm band, or a necklace made of animal teeth. Maybe even a wig."

"You're evil."

"Go change."

By the time Clark emerged in his jeans and t-shirt, Chloe had managed to find him a leather strap to tie around his arm, a wig he told her he'd never wear, and two pieces of costume jewellery to choose from.

She held up a tacky necklace of plastic teeth and a thin leather cord. "Bracelet or necklace?"

"Bracelet. I can't believe I'm letting you talk me into this."

"It'll be fine. Oh!" She pulled something else out from behind her back. "Here."

"What's this?"

"A thong."

"What?"

"You need to wear something under the loincloth, Clark." She laughed when his face paled.

* * *

“We’ll sort out your hair and makeup when you come out,” Chloe called to Clark through his bedroom door.

“Hair and makeup!" Clark pulled the door open and stepped out into the hallway, still dressed in his regular clothes. "Chloe I’m not-" He stopped when Chloe put her hand over his mouth.

“You are going to go change, and you are going to move quickly. Otherwise we are going to be late. And if we’re late, *everyone* is going to notice when we arrive.” Clark blanched and headed back into his bedroom to change.

When he opened the door to let her in, Chloe was grinning widely and twirling a bottle of clear liquid in her hands. Her eyes moved appreciatively over him, taking in the wig she'd finally convinced him to wear (crowing triumphantly when he admitted that for a wig, it was actually not horrible), the band around his arm that clung obscenely to his muscled bicep, the flat plane of his stomach, and the leopard print loincloth that hugged his hips.

"What's that?" he asked suspiciously.

"Baby oil."

"Why do you have baby oil?"

"How else do we make your muscles shine?"

"We DON'T need to make my muscles shine."

"Oh yes, Clark, I think we do." She advanced on him, popping the flip-lid open and pouring some of the oil into her hands. "Now stand still."

She ran her hands up and down his arms before moving to his chest, abs, and finally his back before stepping back to admire her handiwork. “It’s still missing something,” she muttered.

“Yeah, like more clothes,” Clark said, glaring.

“No, something else,” Chloe said, eyeing Clark and tapping her finger against her chin.

"It's not missing something. It's fine. Can we go? I'd like to get this over with as soon as possible, please."

* * *

Clark tried to ignore the stares as he walked through the doors of the Talon. He really, really did. But the blush that rose from his chest to his cheeks had other things in mind. Chloe tugged him towards a table in the back, and Clark wasn't sure if he wanted to kiss her for getting a seat out of the way, or kill her for dragging him past every single person in the place on the way there.

"Relax, Clark. Sit down and wait for Lois and Jimmy, and I'll get us something to drink."

"Lois is going to be here? Chloe!"

"Is coffee alright?" She grinned and walked away without waiting for an answer.

Clark was fidgeting with his loincloth when a shadow loomed over him. He glanced up into Lex's steel-blue eyes, then dragged his eyes down over the circa 1920's suit he was wearing, before coming back up to meet his eyes.

"Clark, nice costume."

“Yours is much better. It suits you, Lex.” Clark said almost without though as he raked his gaze over Lex’s form again.

“You’re not one for costumes Clark; who managed to get you into this particular one?”

“Blame Chloe. I’m still not sure how she managed to convince me to wear this get-up. And everyone keeps staring,” Clark said blushing. “I look stupid, don’t I?”

Lex slid into the seat across from him. "No, you look... sexy."

Clark wasn't sure how to respond to that. "Uh, thanks?" he managed to say just as Chloe returned with their drinks.

"Lex, fancy seeing you here. Where's Lana?”

"At the mansion. Apparently Halloween isn't her thing."

Around them the lights dimmed and the live band took the stage, breaking into a punked-out version of The Monster Mash.

Jimmy and Lois chose that moment to arrive. Clark could practically see the wheels turning in Lois's head when she took in what he was wearing and who was sitting with them.

"Guess I can't call you Smallville anymore, huh?" she said, grinning broadly. She chuckled when Clark blushed.

“Save it Lois,” Clark said.

“What? It’s a compliment,” Lois said, gazing appreciatively at the picture Clark created. “No Jane?”

He threw her a glare. “No Jane. Why, you want to apply for the job?” Clark asked with a smirk. Lex coughed delicately and smiled at Clark.

The night dragged on. Lex didn't move from their table. Clark didn't question it. Even as Lois and Jimmy shot confused looks in Lex's direction and Chloe had to kick her cousin under the table more than once when she started speaking without thinking.

After Lois asked if Lex planned to "pull a gangster move and pop someone tonight," Chloe dragged her physically from the table, Jimmy in tow, leaving Lex and Clark alone for the first time in longer than either could remember.

Lex rose from the table after a few beats of silence. "Meet me upstairs in five minutes, Clark," he said, just loudly enough for him to hear over the horrible rendition of I Put a Spell on You that the band was pumping out.

Clark sat stunned at the table, not moving. It was almost ten minutes before he pushed himself out of the booth and made his way to Chloe and Lois's apartment. He walked in cautiously, closing the door behind him.

“You’re late,” Lex said from the couch. Clark looked at him.

“Your request left me a little stunned,” Clark said. “This whole night has been a little strange; and hen you...”

“What about me?” Lex asked, staring at him intently.

“You’re being nice. Neither one of us can stand to be in the same room lately without throwing insults and nasty looks. Why is that? And why is tonight different?”

"I realized something after the cave in. You came after me when no one else would. You saved my life. I never thanked you for that properly.”

"I never expected a thank you to begin with."

"Then why come after me?"

"Your father asked me to."

"Since when do you ask how high when Lionel says jump?"

Clark was silent. Lex stared at him, waiting for an answer. Finally, Clark closed his eyes and sighed. “Lionel had nothing to do with it. When I heard you were down there, my first instinct was to come after you.” He turned and locked eyes with Lex. “You were the best thing that happened to me, and a large part of me still holds hope for... us.”

He didn't open his eyes when he heard Lex get up from the couch and make his way towards him. He kept them closed when a finger ghosted over the skin of his cheek and brushed across his lips. He didn't think he could open them even if he wanted to when Lex's warm hands moved to cup his face and draw his mouth down across the inches that separated them to press against soft lips in a chaste, lingering kiss. Clark reached up to run his fingers over Lex’s scalp while Lex’s hands caressed his shoulders. Lex broke the kiss and looked at Clark.

“I hate that wig,” he said, and Clark to burst out laughing. Lex chuckled, pulled the wig off Clark’s head, and ran his hands through dark, tousled hair.

“Blame Chloe,” Clark said.

“No, I’ll be thanking Chloe. Only she could get you into this get-up,” Lex said, pulling Clark in for another kiss.

Clark slid his hands down to grasp the lapels of Lex's suit and turned, walking backwards towards the bed and pulling the other man in his wake. He stopped when the back of his legs hit the bed and sat down, Lex moving to straddle his lap and claim his mouth again.

Clark pulled back a bit. "Did you lock the door?"

"No more talking, Clark."

"But-"

"Shut up." Lex slid his tongue into Clark's open mouth, licking at his pallet and eliciting a small squeak of surprise.

Clark's hands moved back to Lex's chest, moving under the jacket and pushing it off Lex's shoulders. The jacket hit the floor and Clark’s hands went to the buttons on Lex’s shirt. He popped each button out of the hole and followed it with a kiss against the smooth skin it exposed. Lex’s hands reached for Clark’s hair and pulled gently, urging Clark on. The shirt hit the floor and Clark began to trace patterns on Lex’s chest with his tongue. Lex moaned and moved to suck and nibble on Clark’s ear.

“Lex,” Clark said. “We should really think about locking the door.” Lex moaned as Clark bit lightly on one of his nipples.

"You don't like the idea of an audience?" Lex pushed Clark back onto the bed and slid a hand up underneath the loincloth to cup his cock through the thong, and Clark suddenly found he didn't care about the door anymore.

"Keep doing that," he breathed, neck arching back and pressing into the soft blankets on the bed.

Lex attacked the bared expanse of Clark's throat, sucking a kiss into the juncture where shoulder flowed into neck. Propping himself up with one arm, he tugged at Clark's thong until is started to slide down muscled thighs. Clark’s erection sprung free, Lex smiled as he bent down and licked the tip.

He circled the head and sucked lightly, one hand clutching the base and the other wrapped firmly around Clark's hip in a failing effort to keep him still. He pulled back and met Clark's wide green eyes.

"I can't blow you if you choke me, Clark," he said, softening the words with a wide grin that turned to laughter at the horrified expression on the other man's face. "Just sit still."

Clark's eyes slammed shut against the sensation of Lex taking half his cock into his mouth and then sucking. Hard. Sitting on the edge of the bed with his head thrown back, arms spread wide and hands planted against the mattress, Clark did his best not to buck up into the impossible heat surrounding him, drawing his climax closer with every second that passed.

And that was exactly the same position he was in sixty seconds later when the door flew open and Lois stormed in, calling his name.

"Clark? Are you hiding in... wow..."

Clark's eyes flew open at the sound of her voice and he groaned as his climax pulsed through him. One large hand came up off the bed to grip Lex's shoulder as lightly as he could as his body shivered against the sensation.

Lex, eerily calm, waited until Clark was done before slowly moving up and away from him and turning to face Lois.

"Ms. Lane," he nodded in her direction, moving in front of Clark and giving him a chance to pull himself together.

“Holy shit!” Lois said, taking in the scene in front of her. “What in the hell is going on here?”

“Ms. Lane, this is a private matter between Clark and me. I would appreciate it if you could please remove yourself; we have things to discuss.”

“This is my apartment,” Lois protested.

“Lois,” Clark said. “Can you please just give us a couple of minutes?”

Lois turned and left, throwing a glare over her shoulder at Clark as she walked through the door and shut it behind her.

"Is this something you want, Clark?"

"You don't waste much time, do you?" Lex waited patiently for him to answer. "Yes, Lex. This is something I want."

"Good." He turned his back to Clark and reached for his jacket, pulling his phone from the pocket. Scrolling through the numbers, he ignored Clark's puzzled expression for the moment.

"All I get is a 'good' before you start making phone calls?"

Lex held up a hand and flashed a quick smile before returning his attention to the phone. "Set it into motion," was all he said before disconnecting the call and tossing the phone onto the bed next to Clark.

"What was that about?" Clark tried his best to keep the suspicion out of his voice.

“That was the beginning of our future together.” At Clark’s puzzled look, Lex smiled. “I just set into motion plans to divorce Lana.”

“On what grounds?” Clark asked, surprised.

“On the grounds that I was deceived into a marriage with her; was never with child.”

“Lana’s not pregnant?”

Lex shook his head. “She was ingesting hormones that gave the appearance of pregnancy.” Clark gaped at him, and he let his eyes flick down for a moment before coming back up. “It was a contingency plan. In case you finally saw the proverbial light.”

“I thought you loved Lana.”

“I cared about her. I wouldn’t have married her if I didn’t, baby or not.” He moved to sit next to Clark, looking straight ahead as if the fireplace across the room was the most fascinating thing he’d ever seen. “But what I feel about her doesn’t come close to what I feel about you.”

“What does this mean for us?”

“Long-term or short-term, Clark?”

“Both.”

“For now we go back downstairs and deal with Lois, because by now she’s probably told Chloe what she saw.”

Clark nodded. “And later?”

“Later we talk. Later we do this again. Later... later we learn how to love each other without hating each other. Think you can handle that?”

Clark grinned. “Yeah, Lex. I think I can.”

-end-

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