sinderella81 | Fic: Cracky Clex Fairytale (Reply)

Title: Cracky Clex Fairytale
Rating: PG-13
Characters: Clark/Lex
Disclaimer: Not Mine! I just like to play!
Summary: Clark gets a fairytale assignment in school, goes to Lex's and ... weirdness happens *wink*
Warnings: Um ... Crack?

Just to let you know, I thank/blame

hilsfor this! *wink*

“Why did it have to be fairy tales?” Clark grumbled to himself as he flipped open the large book. He was sitting in Lex’s library, trying to do his English homework. Their teacher had given them the assignment to read a fairy tale and analyze its origins. Clark just muttered to himself that fairy tales were for children. But off he’d gone to Lex’s, where he knew he’d find a large selection of books to choose from.

Lex had been amused when Clark had asked about fairy tales, but had graciously offered Clark the use of his library. He’d gone off to do some of his own work and left Clark alone.

Now Clark sat at the table, trying to dissect the story of Rapunzel. As he turned the pages and read the story he felt himself growing sleepy. Moments later, his head dropped to the book and moments after that … Clark disappeared.

* * *

Across town, Isobel Thoreaux congratulated herself on a job well done. The spell she had cast sent that annoying Clark Kent into his own fairy tale. He’d need a kiss from his one true love, and seeing as how Isobel was in control of Lana’s body, that would never happen. Clark was trapped forever.

* * *

Clark came to slowly, looked around and frowned. Something was wrong. He wasn’t in the library anymore. The walls were stone, and he was lying on a large canopied bed across from a small window. Clark struggled to stand and make his way across the room. He looked out the window and gasped; he was a good hundred stories above the ground. He quickly spun around and found himself in a room with no visible door, and about nine hundred feet of hair.

“Oh shit.”

* * *

Lex had finished his work and made his way to the library carrying a tray with a plate of cookies and a couple of glasses of milk. Things had been strained between him and Clark and Lex was scared that he was going to lose his friend. He’d come to the conclusion that whatever secrets Clark had were his to tell when he was ready.

He entered the library and frowned. There was Clark’s backpack, and the book he was reading, but no Clark.

“Clark?” he called, stepping further into the library. He set the tray down on the table and looked around.

“Clark?” he called again as he stepped over to the book and fingered the pages. The instant his fingers touched the pages he was filled with a great need to sleep. He sat down in the chair Clark had occupied, and fell asleep with his head resting on the book. Moments later, Lex too disappeared into the book.

* * *

Clark sighed for the umpteenth time as he tried to untangle his mass of hair. “Stupid fairy tales,” he grumbled. Along with the hair, whoever was doing this decided to leave him in only a pair pale green sleep pants. So Clark was stuck half naked with too much hair and no means of escape.

He managed to pull the only chair over to the window, and sat down. If it really was Rapunzel, then either a witch or a prince would be on their way to visit him. Clark just had to patient and hope that someone would come and find him.

* * *

Lex groaned as he started to wake up. He opened his eyes, looked around and frowned. He found himself in the middle of a meadow, sitting beside a horse.

“What the hell is going on?” Lex said to himself as he stood up. He looked down and his frown deepened. He was dressed in purple tights, a white flowing shirt and purple velvet doublet. Around his waist were a brown leather belt and a rapier.

“Who the hell am I supposed to be?” Lex yelled to no one in particular. He looked around and in the distance saw a tall tower, and if Lex looked close enough, he could see that there was someone in the window. He sighed to himself and climbed onto the horse.

“Off to rescue the damsel in distress I suppose,” Lex grumbled as he urged the horse into a gallop towards the tower.

* * *

Clark was dozing with his head against the windowsill when he heard the horse. “Who’s there?” he called.

Lex climbed off his horse and looked up at the window. “Clark, is that you?”

Clark peeked out the window. “Lex, what are you doing here?”

“I touched the book you were looking at, fell asleep and woke up here,” Lex said, walking towards the tower.

“The same thing happened to me,” Clark said. “Although you got off easier; at least you’re outside and have a horse.”

Lex chuckled a bit. “So … can you get out of there?” he asked.

“There’s no door,” Clark said. “I looked. I walked around this whole room … which is hard to do with all this hair.”

“Hair?” Lex asked.

Clark nodded. “It appears that I am Rapunzel,” he said.

Lex was silent for a minute, then started to laugh.

“Laugh it up, Prince Charming,” Clark called down to him.

“So, aren’t you supposed to let down your hair or something?” Lex asked with a grin.

“Do you happen to have a pair of scissors?” Clark asked.

“No, but I have a sword,” Lex said. “That should work, right?”

Clark thought for a moment and nodded. Moments later, nine hundred feet of hair came tumbling out the window. He braced his hands on the windowsill and waited. “Well, climb up!” he called.

Lex looked at the hair warily, but wrapped his hands in it and began to climb. It took him a while, but soon he reached the window and nudged Clark out of the way as he climbed in. He took a good look at Clark and gulped. Clark looked … beautiful.

“What?” Clark asked, noticing Lex’s stare.

“N-n-nothing,” Lex stammered. “You just look … “

“Like an idiot,” Clark finished.

“Not at all,” Lex murmured. “You look … stunning.”

“Stunning?” Clark whispered.

Lex nodded and stepped closer to Clark. “Stunning,” he repeated. “Did I mention that I was going to pull you away from your homework to talk to you? I went into the library with a tray of milk and cookies from Cook and found you gone.”

“What were you going to talk to me about?” Clark whispered.

“I was going to tell you that I know you have secrets, but I don’t care,” Lex said. “I don’t want to lose you … and that’s where we were going. I could feel you pulling away and I don’t want that to happen. Your secrets are yours to tell, not mine to investigate.”

Clark took a deep breath and gave Lex a smile. “Oh Lex,” he murmured. “I know you want to know my secrets and I want to tell you but … “

“Shh,” Lex whispered. “When you’re ready, I’ll listen.”

Clark smiled. “I promise that I’ll tell you … when I’m ready. But for now? How do we get out of here?”

Lex pulled his rapier from his belt. “Ready to lose a few hundred feet of hair?”

Clark laughed and nodded. “Hell yes,” he said. He pulled his hair over his shoulder and gripped it tight. “Cut right between my hands.”

Lex rested the sword on Clark’s hair, testing it a bit. He took a deep breath, raised the sword high above his head and ..

“Thank God!” Clark cried as the hair dropped to the floor. He ran his hands through his hair a bit, feeling the curls bouncing around his shoulders. “It was getting hard to move.”

Lex chuckled a bit, his eyes drawn to Clark’s bare chest. “Um … we should tie the hair up and hook it to the bed. That way we can climb down,” Lex said.

Clark nodded and moved to the bed, where he ripped the sheet, tying the hair to the bed. “Let’s get the hell out of here,” he said.

“Ladies first,” Lex said with a mischievous grin.

Clark just rolled his eyes and climbed out the window, shimmying down to the ground. He sighed as his feet touched soft grass.

Lex followed quickly behind. “So, any ideas on how to get out of here?” he asked once he was on solid ground.

Clark shrugged. “I have no idea,” he said. “But fairy tales are all about ‘happily ever after’. The princess is always saved by her one true love and they ride off into the sunset.”

“Well, we do have a horse,” Lex said. “We could ride off … although I don’t know where.” He watched as Clark lifted his head to the sunlight, and stood in awe of Clark’s beauty.

Clark turned and gave Lex a look. “What are you looking at?” he asked.

“Do you have any idea how gorgeous you are?” Lex whispered, stepping closer to Clark.

“Gorgeous?” Clark whispered.

Lex nodded. “You have the body of a Greek god,” he murmured. “And this golden tan, this deep green eyes and soft hair.” He reached a hand up to Clark’s curls, twisting a hand into the sable curls. “And these lips.” Lex’s other hand moved to gently trace Clark’s lips.

Clark groaned and wrapped his arms around Lex, pulling him closer. “You’re gorgeous,” he murmured. “Ivory skin and eyes so deep I could drown in them … and this little scar … “ Clark leaned down and brushed his lips against Lex’s.

Lex moaned and immediately deepened the kiss. Hands gripped and groped and tongues tangoed. They were both so deeply entrenched in the kiss that neither one of them noticed that they were back in the library of the mansion.

When Clark finally pulled back, his eyes were a bit glazed over and he was wearing a silly grin. “Wow,” he breathed. “That was amazing … “

Lex smiled. “I concur,” he said. “We should do that more often.” He ran a hand over Clark’s still bare chest and trailed the other up to wrap itself in Clark’s shoulder length curls. “You’re still my princess,” Lex whispered with a grin.

“And you’re still my Prince Charming,” Clark murmured, undoing the buttons of Lex’s doublet. He pressed a couple of kisses to Lex’s jaw. “Come on … let’s go have our happily ever after.”

Lex laughed and grabbed Clark’s hand. “That is a fantastic idea,” he said.

The servants all shared a secret smile when they heard the moans and groans coming from Lex’s bedroom.

* * *

Across town, Isobel raged. “What the hell? He was supposed to be stuck forever not find his soul mate!” she screamed as she threw glasses and dishes at the fireplace. “I just cannot win!”

“And you never will.”

Isobel looked around to find the source of the monotone voice. “Why not? And who are you?”

“We are the fandom gods, and you will never win because one will always find the other … they are meant to be.”